Dear Waiter


Dear Waiter,
Hi, can I talk to you for a second? No, it’s not about the food, the food is great, thanks, it’s- well, it’s kinda weird.
See, I couldn’t help but notice that the guy I’m eating with, who’s actually younger than me, got a “sir” and this whole night, you’ve been referring to me as “man.” I mean, that’s weird, right?
I’ve never been into the hierarchy of customer vs. waiter so it’s not that, it’s just kinda weird is all.
I mean, do I not look like a sir to you? Do I really look like the “man” type?
Is it the long hair? Or maybe it’s the tattoos?
I’m just saying, I’d like the same pretend respect you’re giving to the guy sitting across the table from me, is that so much to ask?
Actually, ya know what, as I type this out, I just feel like the most gigantic ass. You don’t hafta call me sir. Hell, if you don’t wanna refer to me at all, I’m actually pretty okay with that.
It was just weird, okay? He got the BBQ burger and a “sir” and I got a turkey burger and a “man.”
I mean, that’s weird, right? Yeah, I think I’m officially overthinking it…

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About Calhoun

Ever think those thoughts that don't seem important enough to put down on paper? Welcome to my life. I write random thoughts, movie reviews, and the occasional work of fiction. Take a look around, there's a little bit of something for everyone.

4 thoughts on “Dear Waiter

  1. I live in a part of the country where waitresses think it’s perfectly acceptable to call customers “Honey,” “Baby” and “Sweetie” regardless of their gender and waiters have no problem calling diners “Chief” or “Buddy”.

    I think servers should refer to all male customers as “Sir” and all female customers as “Ma’am” and that should be the end of it. We are not your friends, we’re your customers and we should be treated as such. The tips that I leave are bigger for waitresses that don’t assume I want to be their “Sweetie”.

    • Like, I guess I don’t really mind being called “man” mainly cuz… well, that’s how most of my friends refer to me, I guess? I dunno, it was just pretty weird that he got a “sir” and I’m a “man” kinda guy

      But agreed on the pet names thing. Drives me nuts whenever I visit my mama in North Carolina

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