Dear Internet

The culprit

The culprit

Dear Internet,
Last night, I may have had a drink or two… normally that’s just an expression, but seriously, I swear, it was just two.
Granted, I had them on an empty stomach, which may explain their effect on me… but anyways, Internet, I just wanted to take a moment to apologize.
For the tweets, the countless memes, the innumerable YouTube videos, and all the rest. See, it only happens when I’m drunk but last night was definitely what I like to call “an internet bender.” You know how folks go, like, balls to the walls crazy when they drink?
Now, imagine how bat-shit insane it can get with internet access. Misspelled declarations of love, misplaced emotional rants laid out for all those former high school friends to read. Seriously, it doesn’t get much more embarrassing than that.
I think I may be ready to go to Internet AA. Last night might have been my rock bottom.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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