Dear Scientists


Dear Scientists,
I’ll be brief, since I’m sure you guys are trying to cure cancer or whatever.
I just have a quick question for you folks… where, exactly, did we land on this whole time travel thing?
Like, are we completely ruling it out? Possibility?
I mean, there are a lotta great uses for time travel. If you figure it out, you can go back in time and give people the cure to cancer earlier… although that might fuck up a lotta timelines… but it’d save lives! … or create a paradox that causes the universe to collapse in on itself.
Okay, I’ll be honest, I’m not asking about time travel because I’m eager to cure cancer (although that’s, like, a good cause or whatever, let’s get on that) or save the world. There was this Fall Out Boy concert that I really wanted to go to in the early 2000s, but I wasn’t allowed since it was a school night. Yeah, my parents were those parents.
Anyways, I was feeling nostalgic and since the band is broken up or whatever, my next best bet?
Clearly, time travel. Anyways, if you guys could sort that stuff out and get back to me, I’ve been missing the Pete Wentz from my youth… you know, pre-penis pic text and pre-Ashlee Simpson.
Oh yeah, and I promise not to abuse time travel for my own personal gain or whatever… you guys are smart enough to figure out time travel, but still stupid enough to believe that, right?


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