Dear Karl

The culprit, napping on clean laundry...

The culprit, napping on clean laundry…

Dear Karl,
This may be a foreign concept to you since, ya know, you use your tongue as toilet paper, but can we talk about hygiene for a second?
I know you may not understand all the subtleties of human interaction i.e. why we don’t sniff each other’s butts upon introduction, but there are some rules. One of the unspoken ones involves clean clothing.
So, ya know that machine that goes thump thump in the living room and produces the same clothes that went in, but come out wet? It’s called a washer.
Then, the thing on top makes the wetness go away, aka dryer.
What you seem to notice is that they rid my clothes of your scent and dog hair.
What I notice is that my clothes smell nice afterwards. Not that you don’t smell nice but, well, you get the point.
So, when I take my clean clothes out and put them in a basket, that is not an invitation for you to dig them out, spread them out on the bed, and roll all over them, this ensuring they have your distinct odor.
No, they are supposed to smell like Fresh Spring Rain and not dog.


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