Dear Kenny Loggins

Dear Kenny Loggins,
Hi, how’s it goin’? It’s, uh- it’s been awhile.
No, not since we talked. I was thinking more, like, “it’s been awhile since you’ve been relevant.”
Sorry, shoulda made that more clear… anyways, I just had a quick question for you.
Sorry, I’m not sure if it’s too personal or whatever, but- uh, well… do you, like, get royalties from all the times that they reference you on Archer? I mean, they’re not playing your song, so I can’t imagine that you do, but… seriously?
I mean, you should at least get something.
Just my… well, not so professional opinion.
Oh yeah, and while I’ve got you, that song you did about Winnie the Pooh? That was my shit when I was a kid.
Just thought you should know…


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