Dear Universe

internet

Dear Universe,
I’ll admit, I’ve always been the first one to call you on your bullshit.
That whole The Secret thing that Oprah kept hawking? Total crap.
Still, times are tough, figured it was at least worth a shot.
See, my move is in… well, less than a month and my whole roommate thing just fell through, which means my place to live fell through, which means I will be moving to a city completely blind.
Totally sounds like an updated “Nigerian Prince” e-mail, right?
Swear it isn’t. So, look, universe, I’m not asking for any hand outs or anything like that, but if you could maybe send a little help my direction, perhaps in the form of a well-placed Craigslist ad that doesn’t make me feel like I’m gonna need to sleep with a knife under my pillow? I mean, I guess that’d be pretty cool of you…
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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