I know we’ve been through some rough times (mainly that time when I tried to crush you, but evidently I didn’t press hard enough because you totally crawled off when I lifted my hand) but I just wanna put those times behind us.
I mean, I think we both said some things we didn’t mean.
Like, when I called you disgusting, all I meant was you’re… an acquired taste.
Just like I’m sure you didn’t mean it when you, ya know, existed.
All I’m saying is, try not to hold a grudge. I think we could both benefit from putting this behind us.
Plus, if I die under suspicious circumstances, everyone will know that it was your fault… or the myriad of other people who probably want me dead…