Look, I know you’re gross. I mean, just think about poop for God’s sake.
It’s just- well, lately there’s been an uptick in the gross department.
Let’s take inventory, shall we?
My right hand currently has pins holding it together.
My left hand isn’t much better, with a fingernail caked in blood beneath the nail.
My ankle clicks when I run for too long.
Oh, and now I’m starting to peel, but only on my right hand.
What the hell?!? I look like a goddamn lizard!
My pediatrician told me when I was young that if I took care of my body, my body would take care of me.
Yeah? Well, the deal’s off!
Consider the first can of Cheez WHiz the first strike! First casualty? My stomach.