Dear Cracklin’ Oat Bran

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Dear Cracklin’ Oat Bran,
I have a question for you fine folks at Kellogg’s.
Cracklin’ Oat Bran?
I mean, does oat bran really crackle? I guess I’ll hafta listen to my cereal with one of those, like, kid’s spy/surveillance kits cuz I’ve never noticed.
Or did you mean “cracklin'” like the kids say these days when they mean something is, like cool or whatever?
I mean, was “funky fresh fiber squares” taken?
All I’m saying is, well… c’mon.
You can’t possibly be proud of that cereal name, can you? I mean, it still tastes good, but who wants to buy something with such an awful name?
Great, now I made myself hungry for Cracklin’ Oat Bran… damnit.
You win this time, Kellogg’s.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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