Dear Gay Friends

sassy-gay-friend

Dear Gay Friends,
All, like, two of you… see, I’ve never had many gay friends: partially because I never felt the need to self-segregate and, well, if we’re being honest, it was probably also due to the fact that I kept sleeping with my gay friends… nobody’s perfect, okay?!? Wait, where was I?
Oh right, why I don’t have many gay friends… well, to be honest, it’s all a little exhausting to me. See, there’s this stereotype, one that most of the gay men in my life are happy to fulfill and that’s no problem, but the trademark cattiness, called “bitchiness” by some and “wit” by others, well, frankly, it exhausts me.
I can engage in a little light-hearted verbal sparring now and again, but all too often, it just becomes mean… I can be mean, I just don’t have much interest in being calculatedly awful to one another.
If it’s what makes you happy, that’s fine, but as of now, I resign from that game.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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