Dear Doctor

infection-doctor

Dear Doctor,
Hi, how’s it going?
Oh, really? Already?
Ya know, it’s not often that I get in a room and have someone ask me to take off my pants in less than 5 minutes.
Actually, ya know, that’s not true… I work in a kinda creepy gay bar, so it happens pretty often… still, the lights are usually turned down.
I’m sorry, these HIV/STD tests make me nervous, even though I know I have nothing to worry about, and when I get nervous I tend to ramble.
Man, is it bright in here? I guess I’m just used to undressing in the dark for, well, ya know… obvious reasons.
Don’t have a lotta sex with the lights on, now that I think about it. I mean, it’s not like two guys need the extra lighting to help us know what we’re doing, ya know? Kinda only one option for us, when it comes to sex… did I mention that you make me incredibly nervous and when I get nervous, I ramble and sometimes volunteer inappropriate information?
Okay, yeah, I’ll just be quiet and let you do your thing. Lemme know if you need me to turn my head and cough or anything.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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