Dear Neighbor

Dear Neighbor,
Seriously, when all I could hear was, like, the squeak of what sounded like a rusty swingset, despite having no swings in a one-mile radius, all I could think was, “well, shit, here’s Luther…”
While I appreciate a good pop culture reference as much as the next person, it’s 6:30 in the fucking morning.
Well, that and, apparently, Karl didn’t like The Warriors too much cuz he keeps growling at you.
Me? I can just tune you out.
But a growling dog, standing at full attention on your abdomen?
It’s a little more difficult.
So take your creepy ambient noise and peddle it somewhere else cuz I’d really like to get this dog off of me.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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