Dear Scruff User

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Dear Scruff User,
While I’m flattered that you find me attractive, it is 7 in the goddamn morning.
I mean, I’m even a morning person, but 7 AM? Seriously?
No one wants to get hit on before they’ve even had a chance for their morning coffee or at the very least, a bowl of Berry Berry Kix.
I even tell the people I’m in a serious relationship with, morning sex is off the table.
That is how much I hate pre-noon flirtation and sexual innuendo.
So thank you for your advances, but it’s not gonna happen.
I’m gonna take Samuel L. Jackson’s advice and go the fuck back to sleep.
Sincerely,
Calhoun

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