Dear Scruff User


Dear Scruff User,
While I’m flattered that you find me attractive, it is 7 in the goddamn morning.
I mean, I’m even a morning person, but 7 AM? Seriously?
No one wants to get hit on before they’ve even had a chance for their morning coffee or at the very least, a bowl of Berry Berry Kix.
I even tell the people I’m in a serious relationship with, morning sex is off the table.
That is how much I hate pre-noon flirtation and sexual innuendo.
So thank you for your advances, but it’s not gonna happen.
I’m gonna take Samuel L. Jackson’s advice and go the fuck back to sleep.


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