Dear Facebook (Pt. 4)

Dear Facebook,
Look, I appreciate you getting the word out about my oh-so-clever witticisms and diatribes, but do you really hafta share it with everyone?
I know, I know, I made the choice to “Publicize” to Facebook, but how else am I supposed to get readers?
it’s just, well, not all readers are good readers.
For instance, say there’s somebody that you’re interested in… do they really need to see all 350 Reasons Why I’m Still Single?
Rhetorical question. The answer is empirically “Good God no!”
So thanks a lot, Facebook. Ya know how you let a little of your weird out on each date?
Now someone has full access to all of it.
I feel great about that.


Dear “rusty”

Dear “rusty”,
I use your name in quotes because I have my doubts that this is really your name.
To say nothing of the fact that you don’t even know how to capitalize your own name, I also doubt that you’d use your real name considering you were too cowardly to leave an e-mail address attached to your comment.
Man up and at least have the courage of your convictions.
For those just joining us, allow me to explain.
“rusty” evidently has either a problem with his sense of humor or gay people.
I can’t tell which.
On one of my previous posts rusty was kind enough to write…
“Calhoun, this wasn’t funny and you’re a faggot.”
I can’t say I take too much offense to this, mainly because it’s a pretty poorly put-together insult, but also because, you can’t take somebody who sits at home, searching for an almost year old post (just a month shy) to try to start up controversy.
A solid C for effort rusty, but a little ingenuity might have been nice. Now please excuse me, I hafta go make out with another dude.
your favorite faggot, Calhoun