Dear DMV Lady

Dear DMV Lady,
Is that a new hairdo? It looks nice… ya know, I’m not sure why I said that, we’ve never met before so I don’t know why your hairstyle would be new. Sorry, I guess I’m just nervous.
What is that? Why yes, that is alcohol you smell on my breath.
No, it’s from the night before. Yeah, I just kept brushing my teeth this morning and I can’t seem to get rid of the smell…
Well, good thing I’m not getting behind the wheel, right?
… no ma’am, you’re right. Drinking and driving is no laughing matter.
No, I swear I’m not drunk.
Pinky swear.
… yes, I’m ready to take the written driver’s test.
Sincerely,
Calhoun