Dear United States

Dear United States,
I’ve always found it funny how things worked out.
You know, how people that actually want to stay here have to pass a test and prove themselves “worthy” of our great nation, but there are just some lucky schmucks born into it?
Okay, maybe it’s not “haha” funny but it certainly is “huh?” funny, isn’t it?
And then there’s the whole green card marriage thing. Constantly having your relationship evaluated by INS?
Lemme just say, it’s a good thing they don’t have those for most couples, because if you were to ask me the color of the toothbrush of my partner? Well, I probably wouldn’t be able to tell you. Hell, I share a bathroom with another guy and sometimes I can’t even remember which one is mine.
But ya know what, America? Keep up the good work. You know, keeping the “melting pot” nation pure of all those unwanted foreigners that come here for a chance at a better life. It’s really a testament to your awesome values system!
Sincerely,
Calhoun